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Episode 70

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Published on:

12th Oct 2026

Quick Spoon: Can people be honest with you?

Can people be honest with you when things aren't going well?

In this Quick Spoon, Dr Ryan Kemp reflects on why honest conversations about addiction depend on having an established, trusting relationship. He makes a point that applies just as much to managers as it does to professionals working with people experiencing addiction.

If a relationship is built around fear and compliance, how likely is someone to admit that they're struggling?

And this isn't about lowering expectations or avoiding difficult conversations. It's about creating the conditions in which people can speak honestly, even when the subject is uncomfortable.

So here's something to try.

Think about someone you manage or work with and ask yourself:

Am I creating a relationship with this person where they'll share the difficult stuff with me? And what small step could I take in that direction?

A short reflection on trust, honest conversations and the relationships we build at work.

This Quick Spoon comes from my conversation with Dr Ryan Kemp, clinical psychologist, addiction specialist and author of Transcending Addiction.

Listen to the full People Soup conversation: The culture of now: Ryan Kemp on addiction, work and what we reward.

People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

If this episode resonated with you, please consider following People Soup, leaving a rating or review, or sharing it with someone who might find it useful.

Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human.

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People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life.

Transcript
Ryan Kemp:

I think the only way you, you really get into an honest

Ryan Kemp:

conversation with anyone around addiction, because it's a highly

Ryan Kemp:

stigmatized, shameful behavior, is to have established a good relationship.

Ryan Kemp:

So that-- this goes true for, for professionals who might be dealing

Ryan Kemp:

with, their clients or their patients or whatever, but it's

Ryan Kemp:

al-equally true for line managers.

Ryan Kemp:

if you've cultivated a,

Ryan Kemp:

relationship

Ryan Kemp:

which is based on fear, and compliance or something like that,

Ryan Kemp:

then I think it's highly unlikely anyone's gonna admit this to you.

Ross:

Hi there, and welcome to People Soup Quick Spoon, real conversations

Ross:

about work, leadership, and being human.

Ross:

I'm Ross McIntosh, and here's your Quick Spoon I think there's something in this

Ross:

clip from Ryan that goes beyond addiction.

Ross:

As a manager, if I want someone to be honest with me when things aren't going

Ross:

well, the relationship I've built with them really matters If the relationship

Ross:

is based on fear, compliance, or simply getting things right, how much

Ross:

honesty am I really going to get?

Ross:

and that doesn't mean lowering expectations or avoiding

Ross:

difficult conversations.

Ross:

It means creating and maintaining enough trust for the difficult

Ross:

conversation to actually happen.

Ross:

So here's something to try.

Ross:

think about someone you manage or work with and ask yourself, "Am I creating

Ross:

a relationship with this person where they'll share the difficult stuff with me?

Ross:

And what small step could I take in that direction?" That's your quick spoon.

Ross:

Until next time, take care.

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About the Podcast

People Soup
Real conversations about work, leadership and being human.
Grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

The name People Soup comes from a quote by Abraham Maslow:

"A first-rate soup is more creative than a second-rate painting."

I've always loved that idea because creativity isn't confined to art. It shows up in how we live, work, lead and relate to one another.

Work often feels like a soup: a rich, sometimes bewildering mix of people, personalities, decisions, pressures, relationships and unexpected challenges. Every day we're trying to make sense of the ingredients in front of us.

Behavioural science doesn't make work simple, but it does give us better ways of responding to complexity. It offers practical ideas, evidence-based tools and skills that help us respond more effectively—to ourselves, to other people and to the situations we face.

That's what People Soup is all about.

Whether it's a conversation with a guest or a short solo episode, People Soup explores how behavioural science—and particularly Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)—can help us lead and work with greater intention, developing the psychological flexibility and practical wisdom to navigate whatever life throws our way.

About your host

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Ross McIntosh

I'm Ross McIntosh, a business psychologist, coach and facilitator, with over 30 years' experience helping people thrive at work.

People Soup grew from a simple belief: work is an important part of life, but it doesn't have to come at the expense of our wellbeing, our relationships or our values.

Each episode explores the realities of work, leadership and being human through the lens of behavioural science. Sometimes that's a conversation with an inspiring guest. Sometimes it's a short "Quick Spoon" offering a practical idea you can put into practice straight away.

My work is grounded in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), an evidence-based approach that helps people develop psychological flexibility: the ability to stay purposeful, adaptable and effective, even when life gets messy.

Whether you're leading a team, supporting others, or simply trying to navigate the pressures of modern work, my hope is that People Soup gives you practical tools, fresh perspectives and the confidence to take your next meaningful step.

A few things about me
Chartered Fellow of the CIPD.
Fellow of the Association for Coaching.
Research collaborator with City St George's, University of London.
Speaker, facilitator and leadership development consultant.
Founder and Host of the People Soup podcast.

When I'm not recording the podcast or working with clients, you'll usually find me reading, cycling, improving my Spanish, or enjoying life in southern Spain with my husband.