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Episode 67

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Published on:

5th Oct 2026

Quick Spoon: What if seeking relief gets in the way of reflection?

Sometimes the things we reach for to make ourselves feel better can also stop us from finding out what's really going on.

In this Quick Spoon, I reflect on an observation from Dr Ryan Kemp about our culture's focus on the immediate — "now, do it, enjoy it, live for the moment."

That got me thinking about what we do when we've had a difficult experience.

We feel stressed, so we distract ourselves.

We feel frustrated, so we vent.

We feel uncomfortable, so we do something that takes the edge off.

And sometimes that's exactly what we need.

But what if the relief gets in the way of the reflection?

What if we never quite get to ask:

What is this experience trying to tell me?

So here's something to try.

The next time you find yourself looking for some immediate relief, give yourself a little space before you reach for it.

What might I learn if I stayed with this for a little while?

This Quick Spoon comes from my conversation with Dr Ryan Kemp about addiction.

🎧 Listen to the full conversation: When the Future Gets Smaller: Dr Ryan Kemp on Addiction

People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

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Every recommendation helps more people discover practical, evidence-based conversations about work, leadership and being human.

Here's the People Soup Website.

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People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life.

Transcript
[:

[00:00:14] Ross: Hi there, and welcome to People Soup Quick Spoon, real conversations about work, leadership, and [00:00:20] being human. I'm Ross McIntosh, and here's your Quick Spoon

[:

[00:00:29] [00:00:30] can also stop us from finding out what's really going on

[:

[00:00:38] we feel uncomfortable, [00:00:40] so we do something that takes the edge off And sometimes that's exactly what we need

[:

[00:00:50] what if it means we never quite get to ask What is this experience trying to tell me? So here's something to try

[:

[00:01:06] ask yourself What might I learn if I stayed with this [00:01:10] for a little while? That's your Quick Spoon. Until next time, take care

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About the Podcast

People Soup
Real conversations about work, leadership and being human.
Grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

The name People Soup comes from a quote by Abraham Maslow:

"A first-rate soup is more creative than a second-rate painting."

I've always loved that idea because creativity isn't confined to art. It shows up in how we live, work, lead and relate to one another.

Work often feels like a soup: a rich, sometimes bewildering mix of people, personalities, decisions, pressures, relationships and unexpected challenges. Every day we're trying to make sense of the ingredients in front of us.

Behavioural science doesn't make work simple, but it does give us better ways of responding to complexity. It offers practical ideas, evidence-based tools and skills that help us respond more effectively—to ourselves, to other people and to the situations we face.

That's what People Soup is all about.

Whether it's a conversation with a guest or a short solo episode, People Soup explores how behavioural science—and particularly Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)—can help us lead and work with greater intention, developing the psychological flexibility and practical wisdom to navigate whatever life throws our way.

About your host

Profile picture for Ross McIntosh

Ross McIntosh

I'm Ross McIntosh, a business psychologist, coach and facilitator, with over 30 years' experience helping people thrive at work.

People Soup grew from a simple belief: work is an important part of life, but it doesn't have to come at the expense of our wellbeing, our relationships or our values.

Each episode explores the realities of work, leadership and being human through the lens of behavioural science. Sometimes that's a conversation with an inspiring guest. Sometimes it's a short "Quick Spoon" offering a practical idea you can put into practice straight away.

My work is grounded in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), an evidence-based approach that helps people develop psychological flexibility: the ability to stay purposeful, adaptable and effective, even when life gets messy.

Whether you're leading a team, supporting others, or simply trying to navigate the pressures of modern work, my hope is that People Soup gives you practical tools, fresh perspectives and the confidence to take your next meaningful step.

A few things about me
Chartered Fellow of the CIPD.
Fellow of the Association for Coaching.
Research collaborator with City St George's, University of London.
Speaker, facilitator and leadership development consultant.
Founder and Host of the People Soup podcast.

When I'm not recording the podcast or working with clients, you'll usually find me reading, cycling, improving my Spanish, or enjoying life in southern Spain with my husband.