Recover on purpose: the holiday matrix

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[00:00:25] Fruit I've never seen before, biscuits I can't pronounce, [00:00:30] different ways people shop, different sounds and smells. And then I'll often go and have a coffee, watch people going about their day, listen to [00:00:40] conversations I only half understand. And for a while, I notice I've become curious again Until my [00:00:50] brain remembers that email or something I need to do when I get back to the office, or that conversation I forgot to have before I left. [00:01:00] My body has arrived on holiday, but my mind is still at work

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[00:01:34] Speaker: Not another list of things you should do on holiday, but perhaps a different way of [00:01:40] thinking about what a holiday is actually for

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[00:01:58] So I wonder if there's a better way [00:02:00] of thinking about holidays. here's a hypothesis I've been developing. When leaders spend long periods under pressure or when they're simply exhausted, [00:02:10] They often become less psychologically flexible too, and that impacts on their behavior.

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[00:02:38] And interestingly, [00:02:40] this fits well with the job demands-resources model Every day our work places demands on us, our attention, our emotional [00:02:50] energy, our self-control, our capacity to make decisions, and those resources aren't infinite. They need replenishing, and that's where [00:03:00] holidays become much more than time away from work

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[00:03:24] Another is relaxation. that's giving our nervous system permission to [00:03:30] settle. Then there's mastery, doing something enjoyable that stretches you, learning a few words of another language, trying paddleboarding, going to [00:03:40] a yoga class in a new context, sketching, photography, gastronomy and wine, whatever it might be.

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[00:03:58] Perhaps recovery is [00:04:00] also about rebuilding or resetting our psychological flexibility. So, how might we recover on [00:04:10] purpose? I'd like to share one simple reflection that I use before taking a break myself, and it's called the holiday matrix. If you've got a pen nearby, [00:04:20] perhaps sketch it out with me. If not, there's a downloadable version in the show notes.

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[00:04:58] Not judging, not [00:05:00] fixing, just pure noticing And before we start populating those four quadrants, maybe at the top of your piece of paper, we'll [00:05:10] begin with the context. ask yourself, where am I going? Who am I with? And what makes this situation unique? [00:05:20] Because every holiday is different. a family holiday isn't the same as traveling alone.

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[00:05:51] that you can read on your first day back at work. And then close the laptop, maybe put it in a drawer, [00:06:00] take one breath, and let work have somewhere safe to stay while you're away Now, let's go back to those four quadrants. I'm going to [00:06:10] pose a question in each quadrant, And we'll start with the bottom right. So ask yourself, what matters about how I show up in this [00:06:20] context? Bear in mind this isn't what do I want to get done, but who do I want to be? Perhaps you want to be curious, [00:06:30] present, generous, playful, patient. They are just some suggestions. See if you can [00:06:40] choose maybe three, four or five words that you'd put in there that represent the qualities you'd really like to bring to life in your behavior

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[00:07:13] Maybe there's a bit of FOMO, fear of missing out. maybe there's a bit of worry about what's [00:07:20] waiting for me when I return to the office. or simply finding it difficult to slow down

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[00:07:38] So we've completed the bottom two [00:07:40] quadrants, and they represent our inner world. So maybe at the bottom of that vertical line, just write the word inner to remind us that that's our inner [00:07:50] world. Because at the top of that vertical line, I'm gonna invite you to write behavior because those two quadrants above represent our observable [00:08:00] behavior.

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[00:08:28] reaching for my [00:08:30] phone in every quiet moment. Being physically present but mentally somewhere else. So see if you could jot down some [00:08:40] things that you might do if you were under the influence of what you've written in the bottom left

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[00:08:55] And my prompt here is what could I do to move towards what matters? [00:09:00] And my top tip here is keep it small. Maybe something like leaving my phone behind when I have breakfast. maybe sitting outside a cafe for ten minutes with [00:09:10] no agenda.

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[00:09:14] learning some words in the local language, reading fiction, going for a [00:09:20] swim, perhaps going for a walk or watching the sunset. Try something you've never done before And here's one thing I'm gonna try myself. Each day, [00:09:30] I'm gonna try and take one photograph, not of that famous landmark, but of something I only noticed because I slowed down.

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[00:09:57] Now we can bring it all together. And [00:10:00] on the horizontal line, I invite you to write on the right-hand side towards and on the left-hand side away, which represents the two main human [00:10:10] motivations. We can move towards who and what matters to us, and we can tend to move away from discomfort inside of us

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[00:10:38] That's part of being a human [00:10:40] being. But every time we notice, we create another opportunity to choose, another opportunity to move towards what [00:10:50] matters. That's why I love the words at the bottom of the page. Notice patterns, choose direction, and lead with purpose

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[00:11:59] So that's [00:12:00] it. My thoughts on recovery with purpose in the bag

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[00:12:13] Until next time, look after yourselves, Peasoopers, and bye for now